Behind These Hazel Eyes

Behind these eyes, you will view many things in my life. Pain. Pleasure. Fear. Courage. Regrets. Mistakes. Happiness. Passion. Joy. Peace. War. Success. and Failure. Many of these, I see in myself and also in others. I see more things than others give me credit for. I see when they are experiencing all of these, the good and bad. I view these at a distance and in complete silence. I try not put too much commentary onto things that dont concern me. I watch from behind my own eyes and keep my personal thoughts in my head. I believe that others may think of being quiet and confined as to being weak and not prepared. Yet, in most cases, they are usually the strongest ones! They know how to control themselves and to only speak out their opinions when needed. I have seen many things with these green-brown eyes. No one else will ever see what I have seen. Many others judge people on what they do, say, think and wear. But should they really judge on what they, themselves see? Should they judge before the know? Before they listen and learn? ......Through these eyes, I have seen the nicest people be misjudged and put down before anyone even put forth the effort to listen and try to understand what that person has been through. I believe that I try to get to know the stories and backgrounds of others before I judge because know whats it's like to not be listened to and not given the chance to share what I have been through! No one has ever seen the world through my eyes. No one has ever felt my tears, felt my joy, felt my sorrow, felt my rejoyce. No one ever will. Only me. Some may know some of them from the stories that I have told, yet they will never know the honest feelings I have felt for myself.  So one lesson to be learned here is to never judge a book by its cover.....because you will never be able to see things through these eyes.

-h

[[Different From What I Was]]

For some strange reason, I feel like I have changed a lot in this past year. I can't put my finger on what exactly it is tho. I think that other people view me as outgoing, spontaneous, and sometimes just plain out weird, but that is not how I use to be seen as. People would see me as the shy, quiet one, who only talked to a few people and who just expressed herself in volleyball. I believe that I have changed my outlook on everything in my life. I enjoy myself a lot more than I use to and I am kinda liking it. I havn't decided if this "change" is good for me yet or not. I still kinda miss the way I was. I have to admit, I had more thoughts about things, even if I didn't express them when I should have. Some changes are good, yet some are better off not happening. But that is just one of those Lessons In Life we will learn as life goes on and we learn from our success and our mistakes!

~~What to do~~

For some strange reason...I have been thinking alot about what some people don't get to do when they die. It is a really sad thing to think about, and I try not to think about it to much! So I have been thinking about what I wanted to do before I die! I have had many great ideas & it was a hard decision, but I believe that the ONE thing I want to do before I die...is walk along the beach with the one I Love and then watch the sunset and fireworks together on The Fourth Of July! I think it would be so romantic! I dont care how long I have to wait for that to happen. I believe that most people ((well girls anyways)) would agree with me that it would be soo cute! :) Like I know that it might not happen..but i have faith that if I find the right guy..that he would take me on a road trip to California and take me to the beach, just to make that come true for me! :) I think that would be the most amazing thing to happen to me in my LIFE!!! & I'm positive that I will NEVER forget that moment! So whatever you want to do befrore you die...you have to have faith that it can happen and you need to believe that there is someone out there who will help you accomplish it & change your life! <3

What are the chances??....

Everyone has a opinion, decision, thought, action or reaction and ,depending on the situation, whatever you think, decide to do, say, or how you react to something can change your life for the better or for the worse. You can also change another persons life by those actions or reactions. Most people dont want to believe it, but it is definitely true! You dont really see it all the time, but eventually you will see the effects of everything you do. It's weird how the smallest decision can make the biggest impact on your life..There is this little voice in the back of your head, it tells you all the things that might happen if didnt and the concequences you could possibly have if you do decide to do it, say it, or react to whatever it is...you know, its on of those kind of things! Like if I get invited to go somewhere and I decide not to go...I always think about what i would have experienced if i did go and what memories i would have taken back from going! So I guess what I'm trying to say is live life to the fullest and make the decisions based on what makes you happy and not by what others make you think is best for you.You hafta learn the Lesson In Life by making choices, giving your opinion, or acting or reacting against a subject...& weather or not that is what you really wanted in the end! :)

•••Speak your mind•••

Everybody has an opinion! Whether it is right or wrong! Some people don't really agree with another persons opinion, but they learn to deal with it! Everyone thinks that their opinion is right....and that's kinda true, some are more right than others, but then again, you never really know! People always judge other people by how they look at things! && I don't think it's right! I mean, I admit, when someone dissagrees with me, I get pretty frustrated wth them! But later on, I realize that it was their opinion and they are allowed to voice it! I am not gonna be the one to try and stop them! With everyone's very different opinions, there are going to be some dissagrements, but everyone has some kind of logic and explination as to why they feel that way about a certain subject! My attention has been brought to this very recently at work! We all get along, but if two people start to dissagrees about an issue, there are always other people who agree with either one opinion or the other! It usually ends pretty quickly, but it makes me think about how your own opinion can make people judge you by the way you look at things! I guess you'll just hafta learn this Lesson In Life by understanding that everyone has the right to speak their mind and voice their opinion!

All The Little Things~~

All the little things in my life make it so much more enjoyable::

~ I love falling asleep & then waking up with a blanket over me.
* I like relaxing in a bubble bath, with candles & soft country music playing.
~ I love waving at strangers & gettin' a wave and a smile back (makes me think "I just made their day")
* I like to sit on the tailgate of a Chevy going on a back-road in the woods.
~ I love to walk barefoot on the fresh spring grass.
* I believe that I am never to old to watch cartoons.
~ I love to light candles just to watch them burn.
* I like to watch little kids running around care-free & laughing (makes me think about when I have kids)
~ I love to watch the headlights from cars coming down Luna mountain at night.
* I love to walk on a trail & see the sun shining thru the branches of the tall pine trees.
~ I like to watch the road pass by in the rear-view mirror.
* I like to open my window at night & listen to the calming sounds coming from the nighttime darkness.
~ I like to look at the stars & watch the flashing lights of planes flying slowly over me.
* I love to watch the sky turn from that pretty blue to a fiery red color, to a flashy pink * slowly fade off into calming darkness.
~ I spend time sitting on my swing in the front yard...just to think,
* I sometimes take a walk around the neighborhood to just forget about stuff, if only for a little while.
~ I love to put my hand out the window as i'm flyin' down the highway.
* I like to kick off my shoes & just chill in bed when I don't feel like doin' anythin'.
~ I like to eat ice cold popsicles on a hot, sunny day.
* I love to watch all the trees turn different colors & pile up the leaves...just to lay in them.
~ I like listenin' to songs that remind me of great times or good friends.
* I like to watch the rain trickle slowly down the windows.
~ I love to ride around in the truck with the windows rolled down & the music up loud.
* I love to listen to the thunder, lightening, & rain hittin the tin roof as I fall asleep.
~ I like wrapping myself in the 'just-out-of-the-dryer' warm blankets (no matter how hot it is).
* I love humming to myself when no one is listening.
~ I like to write messages in the steam or dust on mirrors & windows.
&&  * Sometimes, I fall asleep thinking about a special someone..... <3

Soooo......yeah! That is my list of 'All the little things'. You have your own little list of things that make you happy, & it is a Lesson In Life to learn what makes your list sooo special.........!

Thoughts running wild... :)

You know that rush you feel when you think about a certain thing, action, item, or person? Or you have this one special feeling about that certain thing that makes you wanna smile! :) & you never really know how it does it to you, but it always happens when you think about it! It gives you a sense of well-being & serenity that it just makes you happy all over! You just don't know how to control it or you just don't even want it to stop! It gives you butterflies, goose-bumps, makes you feel weak-in-the-knees, makes your heat skip a beat, & usually takes your breath away!! It makes people feel needed, wanted, loved, thought-of, cared for && much, much MORE!! Afterwards, you will have the memory of how it made you feel & how it changed you life, forever! Once you ever experience this feeling about ANYTHING......just know that I told you about the effects & what it does to you short-term && long-term! :) Just don't say I didn't warn you.....  :D