"Mark My Words"

I don't know why I try
To work it out for you and her,
When it's really me, you should see.
It's different, mark my words.

I keep thinking it's all in my head.
When I go to sleep and start dreaming,
I wake up and realize,
That it's her that you're seeing.

This pain that I'm feeling,
Is deep in my heart..
It makes me think that,
We're just drifting apart.

You say that you love me.
Believe me, I know..
But it's making it harder,
For me to let go.

I try to hide this pain that I'm in,
So you can't see how it hurt me in the end.
It was your choice between her and I,
I guess all I can say is that I tried.

So now that you've chosen.
I see how this ties..
As I hide all my pain,
And try not to cry.

I put on a smile for everyone else.
Bury my emotions deep within myself..
I've been with you through think and thin.
I guess this is where "goodbye" has to begin.

I dont think I really understand
How she seemed better at the time...
Or why she can have you as her man..
And you just kinda left me behind...

This really is heartbreaking..
I dont know what to do..
Just mark my words that this part is true...
I really do think I'm in love with you...

If It Makes You Happy

So I have been in some intersting situations for the past 2 years. There were some huge events that happened that caused some decisions to be made. They were decisions that involved more than one person. They were the kinds of decisions where either way you went, someone was going to get hurt. So as time whent by and I got older, I had more decisions to make. But these were more serious. I admit I have made some pretty stupid choices in the 17 years I have lived. But then again, some of them that I made, I do not regret one bit! But now that I look at it as I am writing this post, I prolly wouldnt be where I am today without making the stupid and not so stupid decisions in my life. Some decisions need to be based on how it affects the other people who are involved, but many of them need to be based on what you want and what will make you happy in the end. I have been told that I always put other people before myself because that is just the person I am. And that I need to start thinking about what would make me happy and what I want! So I have started to, and I learned that at the end of the day, It makes a difference if you are truely happy or not. So just do what makes you happy, not what others think will make you happy.

<3 h

Your Weaknesses Make You Stronger

Everyone has a weakness. Actually, everyone has more than one weakness. But what I found out is that your weaknesses define who you become later in life because you learn either to work around your them or learn by them! They define how you approach obsticals in your life. If you let them, people tend to use your weaknesses against you, to bring you down and push you off track. You can let these people toss you around, or you can find out how to controll your weakness and make them your strengths. They say "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger" and I believe that this particular statement is very true. Your strengths also determine who you become. People can use your strengths also, but more for the better of you! So your weaknesses do make you stronger, but then again so do your strengths.

<3 h

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Behind these eyes, you will view many things in my life. Pain. Pleasure. Fear. Courage. Regrets. Mistakes. Happiness. Passion. Joy. Peace. War. Success. and Failure. Many of these, I see in myself and also in others. I see more things than others give me credit for. I see when they are experiencing all of these, the good and bad. I view these at a distance and in complete silence. I try not put too much commentary onto things that dont concern me. I watch from behind my own eyes and keep my personal thoughts in my head. I believe that others may think of being quiet and confined as to being weak and not prepared. Yet, in most cases, they are usually the strongest ones! They know how to control themselves and to only speak out their opinions when needed. I have seen many things with these green-brown eyes. No one else will ever see what I have seen. Many others judge people on what they do, say, think and wear. But should they really judge on what they, themselves see? Should they judge before the know? Before they listen and learn? ......Through these eyes, I have seen the nicest people be misjudged and put down before anyone even put forth the effort to listen and try to understand what that person has been through. I believe that I try to get to know the stories and backgrounds of others before I judge because know whats it's like to not be listened to and not given the chance to share what I have been through! No one has ever seen the world through my eyes. No one has ever felt my tears, felt my joy, felt my sorrow, felt my rejoyce. No one ever will. Only me. Some may know some of them from the stories that I have told, yet they will never know the honest feelings I have felt for myself.  So one lesson to be learned here is to never judge a book by its cover.....because you will never be able to see things through these eyes.

-h

[[Different From What I Was]]

For some strange reason, I feel like I have changed a lot in this past year. I can't put my finger on what exactly it is tho. I think that other people view me as outgoing, spontaneous, and sometimes just plain out weird, but that is not how I use to be seen as. People would see me as the shy, quiet one, who only talked to a few people and who just expressed herself in volleyball. I believe that I have changed my outlook on everything in my life. I enjoy myself a lot more than I use to and I am kinda liking it. I havn't decided if this "change" is good for me yet or not. I still kinda miss the way I was. I have to admit, I had more thoughts about things, even if I didn't express them when I should have. Some changes are good, yet some are better off not happening. But that is just one of those Lessons In Life we will learn as life goes on and we learn from our success and our mistakes!

~~What to do~~

For some strange reason...I have been thinking alot about what some people don't get to do when they die. It is a really sad thing to think about, and I try not to think about it to much! So I have been thinking about what I wanted to do before I die! I have had many great ideas & it was a hard decision, but I believe that the ONE thing I want to do before I die...is walk along the beach with the one I Love and then watch the sunset and fireworks together on The Fourth Of July! I think it would be so romantic! I dont care how long I have to wait for that to happen. I believe that most people ((well girls anyways)) would agree with me that it would be soo cute! :) Like I know that it might not happen..but i have faith that if I find the right guy..that he would take me on a road trip to California and take me to the beach, just to make that come true for me! :) I think that would be the most amazing thing to happen to me in my LIFE!!! & I'm positive that I will NEVER forget that moment! So whatever you want to do befrore you die...you have to have faith that it can happen and you need to believe that there is someone out there who will help you accomplish it & change your life! <3

What are the chances??....

Everyone has a opinion, decision, thought, action or reaction and ,depending on the situation, whatever you think, decide to do, say, or how you react to something can change your life for the better or for the worse. You can also change another persons life by those actions or reactions. Most people dont want to believe it, but it is definitely true! You dont really see it all the time, but eventually you will see the effects of everything you do. It's weird how the smallest decision can make the biggest impact on your life..There is this little voice in the back of your head, it tells you all the things that might happen if didnt and the concequences you could possibly have if you do decide to do it, say it, or react to whatever it is...you know, its on of those kind of things! Like if I get invited to go somewhere and I decide not to go...I always think about what i would have experienced if i did go and what memories i would have taken back from going! So I guess what I'm trying to say is live life to the fullest and make the decisions based on what makes you happy and not by what others make you think is best for you.You hafta learn the Lesson In Life by making choices, giving your opinion, or acting or reacting against a subject...& weather or not that is what you really wanted in the end! :)