"What if"s are stupid...

The problem that I have, that I can't seem to correct, is that I let myself do things that I don't exactly think about before I do it. The choices that I have made may not be ones that people are too thrilled about. I have made some choices that have completely changed my life, and I am going to have to live with the consequences. Maybe these consequences could lead to better things, but as of right now, I am not soo thrilled that I have to deal with them. Peoples judgement of me and the things that I have chose to do in my life, make it very difficult for me to look at the silver lining in my situation. I know I will always have the support of my family and my true friends, but the judgement from others makes my situation soo much harder to deal with. I absolutely hate that "what if" feeling. It eats at me almost 24/7. It breaks me down at times and makes it just that much harder to see the good in things. "what if I didn't talk to him" "what if we never met" "what if I changed my mind" "what if I could change it all" "what if he does care, but doesn't show it" "what if I was different" "what if he decides to come back" "what if I wait and he decides to move on" "what if it was all just a huge mistake". All of these questions run through my head, making my brain hurt with thinking about all the possible answers to these "what if's". I just wish it would all end. All the questions would fade away into the darkness. Everything would fall into place the way I think it should fall. Everyone would mind their own business and focus on their problems, not mine. Everyone who passes me won't just judge me by what they have heard about me. Everything would just be okay. I would be happy, and everything would just be perfect. These ideas just send me back into deep thought, knowing that it will never happen and I just have to play the hand that I have been dealt. I will make the best of it. I will change everyones opinion of my decisions. I will see the good in things and live life to the fullest. Life is too short to let things keep me down. I am determined to change my life for the better and anyone who doesn't believe that I can achieve what I want, will be in shock when I prove them wrong.