I don't get it..

I don't get how someone can erase you from their memory.
How someone can just delete your existence.
How someone can just walk past you and pretend nothing happened between you two.
How someone can completely forget about all of the memories you've made together.
How someone can just get over you so quickly.
How someone can just lie to your face.
How someone can just lose feelings unexpectedly.
How someone can change your entire mood in an instant.
How someone can walk away like you meant nothing.
I just don't get it...It doesn't make sense to me...

"What if"s are stupid...

The problem that I have, that I can't seem to correct, is that I let myself do things that I don't exactly think about before I do it. The choices that I have made may not be ones that people are too thrilled about. I have made some choices that have completely changed my life, and I am going to have to live with the consequences. Maybe these consequences could lead to better things, but as of right now, I am not soo thrilled that I have to deal with them. Peoples judgement of me and the things that I have chose to do in my life, make it very difficult for me to look at the silver lining in my situation. I know I will always have the support of my family and my true friends, but the judgement from others makes my situation soo much harder to deal with. I absolutely hate that "what if" feeling. It eats at me almost 24/7. It breaks me down at times and makes it just that much harder to see the good in things. "what if I didn't talk to him" "what if we never met" "what if I changed my mind" "what if I could change it all" "what if he does care, but doesn't show it" "what if I was different" "what if he decides to come back" "what if I wait and he decides to move on" "what if it was all just a huge mistake". All of these questions run through my head, making my brain hurt with thinking about all the possible answers to these "what if's". I just wish it would all end. All the questions would fade away into the darkness. Everything would fall into place the way I think it should fall. Everyone would mind their own business and focus on their problems, not mine. Everyone who passes me won't just judge me by what they have heard about me. Everything would just be okay. I would be happy, and everything would just be perfect. These ideas just send me back into deep thought, knowing that it will never happen and I just have to play the hand that I have been dealt. I will make the best of it. I will change everyones opinion of my decisions. I will see the good in things and live life to the fullest. Life is too short to let things keep me down. I am determined to change my life for the better and anyone who doesn't believe that I can achieve what I want, will be in shock when I prove them wrong.

sHE'S brOKen......

When you lose someone. Someone you love, when they break your heart, it's the hardest thing you could ever go through. and no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once. Like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time, and you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all of your heart, even though you know you shouldn't. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt before, they stole your happiness, but yet, you still want them, and only them. Other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don't want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would, and even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you're terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway. At the end of the day, you're still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken when you needed them the most. You don't want to miss them anymore. You don't want to love them anymore, but you know you still do, and always will...